Britain's X-Factor

in my opinion, so much BETTER than
American Idol

my favorites this season:
(in no particular order...)

Stacey
Olly
Lucie
Lloyd


and oh my gosh
Lloyd is so very very cute
too bad he's so young
he doesn't have as good a voice
as the rest of the ones on my list, in my opinion
but he's really cute!

of those that you have met

of those that you have yet to meet

of those that you've known for years

of those that we've both known for years






and you'd think
that the separation would get easier as the years go by

it gets harder

hard to wait
until i can finally see you again

they don't know what it's like
i can't see your face
you can't see mine
i can't even give you a simple hug




and that's what makes me scared

i don't know how you handle yourself in certain situations
i've watched too many others, or even myself
making stupid choices in certain situations
i've seen the effects
of someone who can't even remember their own birthdate
who thought the year was 2020
who thought it was may in october

i've seen someone in a brace because of broken ribs, back, arm
i've cleaned up the aftereffects of overindulgence from way too many people

i've heard too many stories of friends, even close friends, lose control of themselves

and hearing about a place that is notorius for such things...
well
that means i over-react


i shouldn't judge you, or anyone, on the actions of others.

i thought i'd got past it during
my teen years

but now i know
all i did was push it back and hide it

unless this isn't agnst
but just drama

or just my emotions running out of wack again.

maybe taking birth control
to even out the hormone-fueled emotional storms
is a good idea

now...to figure out how to get it

or...to figure out how to swallow the darned pills....